A Love Letter…To You
It’s Time to Refill Your Cup
This picture was taken in the summer of 2020. It was a refuge moment where I needed to hide myself - physically, spiritually and emotionally. Like millions of people, and so many of the people that I loved, I felt raw and overwhelmed by a season that I’d never seen in my lifetime.
As someone who makes a living holding space for others when they are struggling, at this particular moment, I realized that I needed to carve out some time to hold space for myself.
And where’s what I know about myself…when I allow myself to get depleted, I’m tempted to allow the lessons of life to trigger my greatest fears.
If you’re anything like me, when I’m “going through” I tend to get into fighting and coping mode. I suddenly forget about the things I have in my toolkit to shift from surviving to thriving. And this summer it took me a little too long to care for my own soul. Is that you today? Are you feeling weary, hurt or empty? Pull up for a few minutes and let me help you refill your cup.
I want you to rise with joy in your spirit and clarity of mind. You don’t have to have all the answers. Even if you had all the answers, tomorrow will come no sooner.
You know who you are. You may just have doubted if who you are is enough. It is. The question to answer is "How do you define enough?" and "Who defined 'enough' for you?" I need you to take your "enough" back.
Stop talking to your demons. Start talking to your Creator. Masterclass with the Master.
Counterfeit Class
Do you know how they teach fraud specialists how to recognize counterfeit money? They study the real thing until they know every fiber, every crease, every shade and hue of the ink on the paper and they can tell just by touch what's real and what's not.
That blows me away. For so many years, I looked to other people and the pursuit of things to define my "enough". And every once in a while I revert back to the stinkin’ thinkin’ of high school when I looked to other people for permission to love myself. I consider someone else’s faith, perspective or experience to be the real thing and just like that…I become a counterfeit.
I pause to post an article, or hesitate to share inspiration on this social platform or that one because that person who I think has something I want might judge me.
I look at the academic accomplishments of others and scramble (just like I did when I was in my 20s) to take another class, certification or degree program.
I spend too much mental energy wondering about what other people are saying about my successes and failures. I secretly wonder “can they see my pain”? And then I cover it up with the things I use as masks.
I look at the champ on the cover of this magazine or that podcast beauty who has zero percent body fat and abs for days and immediately Amazon my way to yet another set of tools that end up cluttering my pantry. And I’ve missed the point and the opportunity, haven’t I?
The truth is you can take any one of your greatest insecurities and hold it up to the light of the people and stories that have haunted you your entire life and you will look like a counterfeit. The only thing you are a counterfeit to is to someone else’s story.
The ecstasy of fearlessness and confidence that you’ve been searching for isn’t found in the non-existent perfection of someone else’s story. It’s found in the overwhelming beauty of your own.
You Know Who You Are
Listen, Beloved…if you’re old enough to read this you are old enough to know that who you are, how you are and what you are God will eventually be uncovered. For me, Jesus uncovers the real me.
And in those moments - like the moment when this photo was taken - when all I had was Me, I didn't recognize what was staring back at me. I felt hollow, and unsettled and fearful. I doubted what God created in me, and it was hard to hear the Holy Spirit whisper His love for me.
Growth Isn’t a Weapon
The truth is you are a brilliant work of wonder. We all need to grow, but growth isn't a weapon...unless we allow it to be weaponized.
Sometimes we are the ones who weaponize growth. We allow pain to devastate us. We hear criticism and we revert back to old stories and experiences that we weren't mature enough to metabolize at the time. We allow disappointment to overwhelm our dreams and expectations. And we allow the Wilderness Experiences of our lives to vaporize our courage.
And sometimes we allow others to weaponize our growth. Instead of approaching us with love and compassion, they pour their own pain, insecurity, immaturity and misunderstanding of power in our ears and over our hearts. And we tilt our heads and keep still waiting for the pain to be over.
Beloved, you can't control how people come at you. But you can make choices about what is useful and helpful for you to grow to the next level, and establish clarity and boundaries about the terms for engaging with you.
There are times when you need to draw from catabolic emotions (anger, indignation, etc.) to set those up, but none of us can stay there, lest we get pulled in a loop that destroys what we intend to build.
You've lived long enough to understand what you need and what you want. Let go of the things that no longer serve you. Say yes to creating a spiritual and physical environment that:
nourishes your soul
expands your intellect
reminds you of Whose you are
lovingly draws you into the disciplines that develop you
Focus on the privilege of being able to learn from the lessons that life (including the Wilderness) is teaching you vs. being crushed by them.
Give yourself the space to explore the lessons, the growth and even the pain. Respect your story, just don't allow it to define you. What's in front of you is yours to design. Take God with you, for every step of the journey and take the next step. Start today. With what you have.
Lift your head, Beloved. Breathe in this moment. Anchor your soul. Search deep for the sound of the Holy Spirit within you. It's a glorious peace-filled, strong voice of triumph.
And in case you haven’t heard it, and need a place to start, here’s a love letter template to write to yourself. Do yourself a favor, use this as a starting place…write it down - on paper or on your device…but do it within the next 48 hours (pick a time and keep the appointment like your life depends on it)…
Love Letter Template
Dear (insert the most loving name that God would call you)…For me, it’s “Beautiful”,
I love you. You are an absolute wonder. I want you to let go of all that stuff that’s in your heart and lay it right here at my feet. I know that may feel a little scary, but trust Me.
Years ago I placed a desire and an innocence in your heart that was permanent. It’s still there and while it might feel like you’ve been through took much to grab hold of it, I want you to trust that in this moment, that innocence and that desire still has a place in your present, and in your future.
I don’t need you to be a version of someone else. Stop striving to be validated in places I never ordained for you. Your victories are reminders that I am with you.
I am not holding judgment in my heart for you. I only see your value and your worth.
I’ll protect you if you let me, but in this moment, that can only start with letting go and letting Me be Me.
And when you feel like you’re free falling, turn your eyes back to me. I’ll be there. Just like I am right now.
Love, God
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Here’s the thing…Rocking your vision starts not with a good idea or a burgeoning bank account or even the right connections.
It first has to start with your mindset that you have a place, that pain and growth has a purpose and that you and will use all of what have experienced to carve out your path to what’s next.
About The Author
Karen Hilton is retained executive coach, inspirational speaker and HR Leader based in Atlanta, Georgia.
She founded Rock Your Vision as a way to equip and inspire professionals and entrepreneurs to discover what it means to do life on their own terms.
Rock Your Vision will help you get clear about your best next steps while leaving fear, excuses, mistakes, and confusion behind.
Ready to Rock YOUR vision?
